So, facebook is a great free tool for many things, but it is also often used as a soapbox, a bragging tool.
I for one, am tired of folks thinking they are the first all the time. Your ideas are not revolutionary, trust me, what you are doing has been done.. I’m not trying to say not to set forth and live your dreams, but everyone’s ideas come from someone else or something that has been tried or accomplished before.
Yes I am writing this blog with a certain person in mind, but it applies to many. I laugh at some of the arrogance of people in the metal scene. I’m not saying one shouldn’t be proud of what they’ve accomplished, but bragging and puffing your chest out does nothing, but make you look like and egotistical jerk.. Have some modesty, have some heart, be thankful for those that actually support you, because the longer you stand on your soap box, the less supporters you will end up having..
I’ve heard this expression multiple times in my life. The personal and private lives of people should have no bearing on their craft and our appreciation of it, but in reality what kind of people our idols are affects a lot of our opinions on there music, their acting, their art.. It’s hard to not judge and no longer want to support a person when you’ve had a bad experience or two with them. In this day and age with facebook and other social media giving people the chance to meet and speak to their idols online, I’ve heard so many stories of woe.. People who have horror stories of speaking/meeting their favorite bands and no longer have the desire to listen to them. Years of fan dedication and great music down the drain..
Most of my idols are musicians. and fortunately for me, I haven’t had too many bad experiences with the members of the bands I hold so close to my heart.. For example, I met Opeth years ago(original line-up) and they were the most humble, down to earth bunch of guys you could ever meet, this made me love them even more. I have a mighty long list of people I’ve met and had great, amazing experiences with.
One thing you all need to know is people are people, they have their good days and bad, and judging them based on one experience is probably not a good decision, but then that whole 1st impression thing is really important to a lot of people.. I personally always try to see the best in people, but I understand you can’t always do that.
I mean some days it really gets my goat when I hear stories of musicians being complete jerk-offs to fans. They get so full of themselves they forget who got them to where they are today. Most people take that one bad experience and write off that band forever.
I have had an experience with a musician who angers me to no end some days. I won’t say names, but this person has proven to be very disappointing and flaky. Truth is, I’ve stuck up for said person multiple times when people talked badly about them and told me of their personal bad experiences.. Even though this person has done some things that have upset me, I still idolize the music they put out, because it has helped me though many hard times in life. Truth be told I kind of feel sorry for this person, between the stories I’ve heard and my own dealings with them, they seem like a very lonely bitter person, which is sad because their music has brought so much happiness to me over the years.. I’ve even had people tell me not to waste my time dealing with this person, and I guess I’m a glutton for punishment, but I think I will always stand up for them, because of the amazing gifts their music has given me..
In closing, if you are a sensitive person, you might want to steer clear of that in-store signing if their music means that much to you, because it could wind up being forever lost to you…
After my recent major surgery to remove most of my colon due to my Crohn’s Disease getting so bad, I was financially completely screwed.. I was in the hospital for 11 days and wasn’t able to return to work for a bit, so I went over a month with no income.. It’s amazing how far backwards 1 month can set you. The doctors tell you to avoid stress, which impossible because now on top of being sick, you’re screwed financially. Money is indeed the root of all evil. Main cause of stress for almost everyone I know.
While I was in surgery a dear friend of mine was in the waiting room plotting, unbeknown to me. She was planning a benefit show to help me financially, little did she know how much of a mental impact it would have on me as well. Nowadays it’s really difficult to meet people that are selfless in so many ways. People that care more about the well being of others than their own. She worked her ass off, put herself in a very stressful situation all for me.. When she came to visit me in the hospital and told me what she had done and who was involved it brought me to tears. So many people were so quick to become involved in the event to support me, including some of my favorite musicians.
I was really kinda bitter on the scene after having to close my shop, even though now I fully believe the stars just weren’t aligned. It wasn’t my time. I was so defeated from being sick all the time. I was just tired and wanted to stay home and lay around and only talk to a select few people outside of my amazing family. I had my surgery and began to feel better, though I now have new and different problems, I am much more hopeful. The turnout at the show was amazing and I feel renewed. The amount of support shown has stoked my fire. I can look forward to the future and know that I still have time to make my dreams a reality and there’s no more doubt, thanks to all the incredible people that were involved in this show. They have completely restored my faith in people in general, but mostly METALHEADS RULE!! We are a big extended family of people who help each other in times of need. I hope someday I can pay it forward.
Even though I have an incurable disease that chances are will land me in the hospital again sometime down the road, I no longer have fear. I know I can do anything I set my mind to. And I want to thank everyone involved from the bottom of my heart for helping restore that passion that was laying dormant for too long..
No one knows how long we are here in this life, so we should follow our dreams and not waste our time with fear..
Outpost Music, Comatose Music, Icombat, Acheron, Cross Up Yours, True Metal Lives NYDM, Waukesha Tattoo Company, Bound By Entrails, Dax Riggs, Nick Thomas, J.K. Lee Black Belt Academy, Paul Speckmann, Rotting Christ, Reggies Rock Club, Atomic Glass, Gieger Awards, Discovery World Museum, Autoeroticashyxium Zine, Paris Ortiz of The Cocksmiths & Big Dumb Dick, Rise of Avernus, Metal Blades Records, Marshal Amps USA, Nekropsy, Lakefront Brewery, Closet Classics, Lucky Joe’s Tiki Lounge, Horny Goat Brewing Co., Rufusport MMA Academy, Music Go Round of Greenfield, Buffalo Wild Wings of Waukesha, Wolfpack 44, Ricktor Ravensbruck, Anicon, The Siege Paintball, LLC, Sweet Treats By Meka, Waking Chaos, Last Detail Tattoo Studio & Mike Natarelli, Pro Health Care West Wood Health & Fitness, Kommandant, Tony Karklus, Symphony X, Vomit God, Inferno Night Club of Madison, Tom Boesch, Andy Kochanski, Timothy Conine, Century Media Records, Color Ink, Incantation, Pyrexia, Scythe/Usurper, Kult ov Azazel, Dread Records, Horror/Pain/Gore/Death Productions, Markradonn, Sparrow Collective, Maggot Twat, Leon del Muerte of Nausea & Murder Construct, Dreaming Dead, Eric Reinert, Sacrificial Massacre, Dead Can Dance’s Peter Bjargo, Suture Couture, Tragix Knots, The Frequency of Madison, Woodmann’s of Oak Creek, Pick N Save of Waukesha, Brian Rehak, Ara, Uncle Acid and the deadbeats, Kevin Forsythe, Opeth, Rockothon, Derketa, Empyreus, Dismemberment, Mark Millar of Marvel Comics, Schecter Guitars, Carpathian Funeral, Taake, Rock 102.1, Blackbird Bar, G-Daddy’s BBC, Rotting Christ, Enfuneration
AND last but not least thank you to everyone that came out to the show. It was an incredible night!! HORNS HIGH, AGAIN METALHEADS RULE!!
I am tired.. I feel the need to get some shit off my chest at the moment. I have learned to try to not let peoples bs get to me, but right now I am angry. Sick to death of the hypocrisy thrown my way. Tired of getting blamed for shit that isn’t my fault, tired of watching other “groups” or “cliques” of people being assholes and not getting called out for it, but the minute I or FireWalk do something that doesn’t please people I get called out by everyone and their mommas. And the funny thing about this is that no one ever comes to me personally, everyone in FireWalk except me. Tired of people never acknowledging the help I’ve given them and only focusing on small incidences that 9 out of 10 times I had nothing to do with or whatever happened was beyond my control. People love to talk shit without knowing the full extent of things. I’m finding out so many people I thought were my friends are actually just constantly standing behind me with double fisted blades. Please, tell me if you have a problem with me. I’m a pretty laid back person, I don’t bite.. Anyone who knows me knows this.
I guess I have to much faith in people still.. Even though numerous people have shown me I shouldn’t lately. Even people I’ve known for years and thought they would always have my back. So I’m just going to move forward with what I set out to do. If you have a problem with it, STOP FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION to what I and FireWalk are doing if you don’t plan on bringing it to my attention.
FYI we no longer have a physical shop.. More on that later..
January 20, 2012,
So this morning I felt like writing, getting some things out, strictly for my own benefit. This is not a justification for anything, just my way of releasing..
Let me start this with telling you all a little something about my bff. There is no one like her, as well as there is no one who will ever take her place in my heart. I don’t know what I would do without this woman. She is the one who holds me together when I’m down, who makes me laugh when I feel like I have nothing left. She is one of the few people on this earth who truly understand me and is always on my side whether she agrees with my position or not. She inspires me to continue living my dream, which is her dream as well. Unfortunately she is very misunderstood. She is a beautiful person and if people would only give her a chance, they would realize this. She has a lot of haters lately and it makes no sense. We are both trying to do the same thing, get the metal out to the masses and instead of hating on her, I just really wish people would see her for who she is, a dedicated metalhead who’s just trying to help.. That being said I love you Leah, and I always will, no matter what..
Now on to FireWalk. We started FireWalk out of a pure, unbridled passion for metal, nothing more, nothing less. We wanted to help bands get heard. When you are a true metalhead, it’s not just a hobby, it’s a way of life. The music never stops.. We have tried numerous things throughout the years, some things worked, some didn’t. The FireWalk Girls was started as a way to build up funds to open our shop as well as to have a unique street team. There has been so much drama surrounding this group it is rediculous! When girls would join, it would be because they are into the music and enjoyed going to shows, hosting events, etc.. There have been girls that have come and gone, some decided it wasnt for them, some we had to remove for various reasons, but all of them knew from the start it was strictly a volunteer thing, it was supposed to be fun. Now some that have been removed are acting like they were doing FireWalk such a big favor. Just to put it out there, we don’t need anyone to do us any favors. You should want to be involved and not feel like it’s a chore. The FireWalk Girls is not the main component of FireWalk, the shop is. We’re putting the FireWalk Girls on the back burner for now and trying to focus on the success of our store.
We have people boycotting our shop, people who refuse to come in for one reason or another. People who hate and talk shit even though they’ve never stepped foot in the place. For me this new shop was a clean slate. A way to start fresh in a new place. I am not one to hold a grudge, I am hoping soon I start to see some faces through the doors that I didnt expect, because quite frankly, we need to be in this together, we need to help each other out. If you are a passionate musician or promoter or fan I would be honored to help you out in any way I can. I have been trying to get out to more shows, but no one can go to them all. I do what I can when I can. We are going to do whatever we can to keep our shop going and keep in growing. We are also now working with Dread Records. With Leah, Miguel, myself and all of the other people we consider family, we bring a lot of knowledge to the table. We can help support your metal lifestyle in whatever form that takes.
I just want to end this by saying FireWalk will be around for a long time, regardless of what people say or do to try to bring us down. We are a strong metal family and no matter what we go through, illness, crew changes, drama, failed projects, etc.. We are sticking to our true passion. \m/ METAL\m/
So I just published some old notes from facebook because I thought it would be interesting to see the difference in my point of view and outlook from the past year to now. I have been though a lot in these past few years and all and all my suffering has dramatically changed me. It has opened my eyes and made me truly realize that we only have this one life and it should be lived to the fullest. Don’t walk in someone else’s shadow. Be what you dream to be, don’t hold back and don’t be afraid to show everyone who you really are. I know that I will probably offend and anger some people with the posts I will be writing, but these words, though I’m hoping will provoke thought or at the very least entertain, are my honesty. So that being said I will no longer apologize for my opinions or beliefs. I am on a crusade, a heavy metal crusade and what other people might see as failures, I see as stepping stones, lessons, chapters in my book.. Hopefully you all will enjoy what’s to come here and feel free to be brutally honest in your comments.. Horns High!!
This is not hard for me.. Truth is, my favorites haven’t really changed much in over a decade. I’m kinda stubborn that way..My tastes haven’t changed really, maybe just evolved…
Opeth – Opeth has been one of my favorites since the Mainstream metal shop days. Raven introduced them to me and one listen and there has been no looking back.. In my opinion Opeth is the definition of progressive. They seem to have a lot of naysayers lately due to there extreme transition from what we all have come to expect from them, to what they are doing these days. So there’s no more death metal vocals, their music is slower, etc.. People are calling them sellouts. Being successful is by no means selling out(this is a whole new blog). They’ve done their time, they’ve gone through the hardships.. Give credit where credit is due people. This isn’t some label made super band who rose to stardom over night. They deserve the recognition they’re getting and I commend them. And whatever your opinions are on the latest album, we will always have Black Water Park, We will always have the killer assault that is Deliverance. Opeth’s music, each and every album they’ve put out, is thought provoking, dark and beautiful.
Enslaved – Enslaved is a band I always knew about, but wasn’t fully into until I met Craig(the man). He played them for me and I was like, HELL YES!! I can’t get enough of them. From their crushing early more black metal albums to current day, they are always pulling out some wickedly dynamic new material. Music should inspire, and Enslaved definitely does that for me.. I listen to Ruun a lot lately.. The song Essence, EPIC.. If you haven’t heard Enslaved I would say to get the full spectrum check out Blodhemn, Frost, Ruun and Axioma Ethica Odini..
Nevermore – I honestly can’t remember how I started listening to Nevermore. I just know that out of all the bands I love, for some reason they inspire me the most. I can have the worst case of No motivation ever and I can pop on Dead Heart in a Dead World and spring back to life and create for hours (or just thrash about madly with my bff till the crack of dawn) Bands like Nevermore are the reason I live this metal lifestyle. The music lifts me up and lights a fire under my ass. I get things done, and I can do it with a smile(a crooked smile, of course).. Despite the recent departure of Jeff and Van, I will forever be a fan and their music will always be on the soundtrack to my life.
Music, metal specifically has always been my number one inspiration. For me, the mark of a true musician is not the ability to play an instrument or read the notes on a page, but to do one of two things; allow you to immerse yourself in an emotion or give you an escape. I know this may sound contradictory, but as human beings, both things are a necessity.
Even as a child I would hear a song and it would evoke such strong imagery I would have these crazed dreams. When you wake up though, you always feel different, usually you have more clarity.
Haven’t you heard a song and pictured someone being stuck in some grim cold place with no way out or being chased by a crazed homicidal maniac?
Or perhaps you’ve been depressed and popped on a cd and just cried your eyes out and felt leaps and bounds better after words.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, waay too much on the brain. Metal evokes so much imagry and emotion, it’s the one thing that always helps get me through. So when people ask me why I listen to metal, this is your answer. forgive me for sounding cheesy, but metal is the soundrack of my soul..
Here are some examples of songs that have provided either a much needed emotional release or an escape from reality..
Enslaved – Roots of the mountain(Off of Riitiir)
Enslaved – Death in the eyes of Dawn (Off of Rittir)
Enslaved – Essence (off of Ruun)
Enslaved – Tides of Chaos ( Off of Ruun)
Opeth – The Drapery Falls ( Off of Blackwater Park)
Opeth- Harvest (off Of Blackwater Park)
Nevermore – No more Will (Off of Dreaming Neon Black)
Nevermore – This Godless Endeavor (title track)
Warrel Dane – Brother (off of Praises to the War Machine)
Borknagar – The Winter eclipse (off of Urd)
Borknagar – In a Deeper World (off of Urd)
Katatonia – Deadhouse (off of Discouraged Ones)
Tiamat – Wildhoney…
There are so many more, but these really stand out in my mind at the moment.
Right now I am listening to Katatonia- Dead End Kings.. This entire album does it for me:) Just thought I would share a little bit about what goes on in my crazy mind;)
Are our minds truly strong enough to override our what physical bodies are telling us? If we focus on something other than our current physical pain, can we really lessen it? Something happened to me the other day that I wanted to share with you all. I suffer from Crohn’s disease. There’s no need to sit and list all the nasty details, I’ll just say it’s unpleasant to say the least. I was sitting at my desk with a bad headache and just feeling horrid. I was trying to get some work done, but we all know how hard it is when you’re not feeling well to accomplish anything. I was just sitting there thinking mind over matter.. I put on some music and focused on what I was doing and really listened to the tunes.. I believe it started with Katatonia’s Dead End Kings(yes I keep bringing up this album, I am obsessed with it) I’m sitting there typing away and I suddenly realized my headache was gone and I didn’t feel so terrible anymore.
I guess I might be sounding like a broken record, but when you are passionate about something, it happens.. This music, metal, helped me get done what I needed to and it just got better from there.
So I’m here to tell you friends, there is definite truth behind this saying.. It’s not just music.. It gets into your subconscious and pushes the pain away. Obviously this will not always work, we all go through some truly painful experiences, but that day, it made my world happy again. Thank you metal.. You are my heart..
I found this note I wrote on facebook some time ago and thought I’d re post it here. Check it out and let me know what you think.
“You must respect my authoritay!! For real though… Cartman can say it, he’s a fucking cartoon..
So in case any of you wondered, I LOVE METAL.. It is in my veins, in my heart.. I like a WIDE array of different types of metal, from power to death to black and everything around and in between. I like what I like and there need not be any justification for this. There is no arguing taste. It is rare to come across an individual who TRULY respects another’s taste in music. I absolutely detest the “YOU SUCK BECAUSE YOU LIKE (FILL IN THE BLANKS)” attitude. REALLY? Your opinion on what’s good could be the complete opposite of the next guys, so get off your elitist high horses and back down to earth for a second.
I read a post the other day that included the phrase “real metal” This person implied that because a band has made it to a certain status, suddenly they are sell outs and are no longer “real metal” Who decides who is real metal? Who is this top secret authority? Maybe it’s SATAN, sitting on his throne in his red loin cloth vetoing bands such as OPETH, for example, writing them off, crossing them off the list of “Real Metal” with a thick black sharpie, all because they have risen out of the underground. Awesome.. So success in this person’s book is not making it big, but staying underground.. Alrighty.. Don’t get me wrong, I have complete respect for bands who want to stay underground, but to judge someone for making it big is fucking ludicrous and it’s all purely based on jealousy whether you choose to admit that or not..
So that being said. there is no authority, your version of what “real metal” is might be completely different from the next persons. No one is any fucking better than anyone else around here. Let’s all just rock out and be thankful that people are still listening to the music we all love at all. Whether it be power metal, grind, black metal, death or anything in between.. Fuck it!! Horns High to you all. Respect my friends, it’s all about respect.. ”
This also makes me think of all the posts I’ve seen in the past with people bitching on facebook about people choosing to go to see a national act over a local. Well yeah DUH!! Why would you miss the opportunity to see one of you favorite bands to go see a local band that plays out every other weekend. You never know what can happen. I’m not saying don’t support your local bands, but be real.. I guarantee the same people would pass up a local show any day to see one of their favorite national acts.. Some of the comments lead me to believe that people forget that most every band was once considered just a local band and had to start out at the bottom and I’m sure most fans have no idea the struggles some of these bands had to go through to get where they are today. Again, jealousy is a very unattractive trait on anybody.
firewalkjen
mschaub79
The Dark Antidote 